


Snippets from the LAPD Notification Board

by Leeko



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Humor, office life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-03 01:48:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16316828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leeko/pseuds/Leeko
Summary: As every well organised workplace the Los Angeles Board of Police Commissioners decided to introduce digital noticeboards for their precincts. These noticeboards are meant to help the communication between employees and shall create a central point of interest.The management should have anticipated that people never take these kind of things seriously and shenanigans ensue...





	1. Welcome Aboard

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Normandy Noticeboard](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14676825) by [AbjectThread](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbjectThread/pseuds/AbjectThread). 



> So I decided to finally take the risk and post my very first fic ever. The idea was heavily influenced by another work from the Mass Effect fandom (I highly recommend it if you like ME) and a quite similar board we use at my work. I have collected some ideas I want to try in the future and hopefully I can keep up a realistic schedule (who knew writing requires so much time...). I'll try to stay as much in canon and character as possible but there might be adaptions to keep the humor flowing. Furthermore it should be noted: I'm not an English native speaker so excuse my possible mistakes.

**LAPD Central Bureau Notification Board  
10/13/2017 - 9:04 AM**

**> > RE: New Noticeboard  
>> posted by** _olivia.monroe_

Dear Colleagues,

the LAPD is introducing a digital noticeboard which is supposed to strengthen the communication between employees of the precinct. This board shall serve as a platform to exchange information, ideas and announce office events. Following rules are to be considered:  
No posting of confidential information (i.e. work related)  
All employees are allowed post or comment  
Posts may be deleted without comment  
Be respectful & no foul language!

Best,  
O. Monroe

\---  
Seen by [21] Comments [6]

**Comments**  
> 10:21 AM - _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
Oh, Detective! This is marvelous. Can you imaging what we can do with this technology? By the way, I am currently next to the vending machine, can I bring you something?

> 10:23 AM - _det.decker_  
I can see you standing over there.

> 10:24 AM - _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
But do you need anything? Cheese puffs maybe? One of those awful sandwiches?

> 10:25 AM - _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
Nothing? Very well.

> 10:26 AM - _L.opez_  
I would take some :)

> 10:26 AM - _det.decker_  
Guys, this is no chat!  
And I would like an awful ham sandwich…

> 10:28 AM - _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
A sandwich for the world’s best detective? On its way. [devil emoji]

* * *

**LAPD Central Bureau Notification Board  
10/13/2017 - 11:17 AM**

**> > RE: Where’s my pudding?  
>> posted by** _det.espinoza_

C’mon guys, who took my pudding again? It was clearly labeled with ‘Dan’. 

Was it you @Lucifer.Morningstar? You have 5 mins to come clean or I will come over to Chloe’s desk...  
\---  
Seen by [21] Comments [10]

**Comments**  
> 11:22 AM - _det.espinoza_  
Dude, srsly? You talk 24/7 but suddenly you’re silent as a monk?

> 11:23 AM - _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
Comparing me to the cleric now? You know who you are talking to? [devil emoji] [pray emoji]

> 11:25 AM - _det.decker_  
Dan, Lucifer was with me the whole time. He couldn’t have done it.

> 11:26 AM - _det.espinoza_  
Alright… But you have to agree that the guy doesn’t know boundaries. It was a reasonable suspicion... [unamused face]

> 11:31 AM - _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
Daniel, I know the word boundary in 6,909 different languages. Not that I would care for yours but this time I can guarantee you it was not little old me.  
I may have seen Maze this morning in the office though.

> 12:04 PM - _mazikeen.of.the.lilim_  
Snitch! I am going to [removed]

> 12:09 PM - _mazikeen.of.the.lilim_  
Removed? What [removed] I am showing you what [removed]

> 12:13 PM - _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
Ahaha [laughing emoji], the mighty Mazikeen defeated by an algorithm. Let me immortalize this moment.

> 12:15 PM - _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
Detective, how can I create a picture of my screen?

> 12:17 PM - _det.decker_  
Lucifer, focus! And put that phone away, we’re on a crime scene!

* * *

**LAPD Central Bureau Notification Board  
10/13/2017 - 05:01 PM**

**> > RE: FW: SoCal Tactical Camp 2017  
>> posted by** _off.miller_

Hi all,

as you may know, the annual Southern California Tactical Camp is approaching and will be held on 11/21/2017 in Silver Lake, LA.  
This is a mandatory event for the selected participants. During these two days five representatives from each precinct will get the chance to strengthen their skills, share knowledge and, most importantly, win the trophy for Best Precinct. From trustworthy sources we know that this years competition will focus on securing a hostage situation.

Following employees will be send to the event:  
_Det. Chloe Decker_  
_Det. Jim Zabrowski_  
_Det. Daniel Espinoza_  
_Cpl. Maria Hutchins_  
_Lucifer Morningstar_

If you cannot attend - inform me or Lt. Monroe in advance. For further information see the attachment.  
Attached: [Flyer for SoCal Tactical Camp 2017]  
\---  
Seen by [35] Comments [9]

Comments  
> 05:12 PM - _det.espinoza_  
Wow, this is amazing. First time attending. Cannot wait for rocking this and bringing back the trophy to its rightful owners!

> 05:20 PM - _j.zabrowski_  
I’m not sure if I can make it. My cat Bob was never alone at home for more than 8 hours. He is a very demanding cat.

> >> 05:45 PM - _off.miller_  
>  Jim, as your superior, let me tell you this is a good opportunity to improve existing skills that may come in handy in the future. I advise you to consider attending.

> 05:22 PM - _L.opez_  
*excited squeeling* I’m so happy for you guys! You’ll gonna win this for sure [clapping emoji]. Who’s ready for a my-favorite-people-will-beat-some-[removed] hug?

> 05:22 PM - _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
Our enemies will fear the wrath of Satan once all hell breaks loose.

> >> 05:25 PM - _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
>  This is meant literally.

> >> 05:31 PM - _det.espinoza_  
>  For once I agree to your madness.

> >> 05:34 PM - _L.opez_  
>  [Skeletor gif]

> >> 06:01 PM - _det.decker_  
>  These will be two long days...


	2. A Memorable Incident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For easier understanding each chapter will only include notifications from the same day. Else it would just create too much noise.

**LAPD Central Bureau Notification Board  
11/06/2017 - 10:41 AM**

>> **RE: Emergency**  
>> **posted by** _det.decker_

Hi all,

I assume it was an accident but whoever used the coffee decanter last and did not clean up afterwards, should do so quickly  
It’s Monday morning and we only have this one decanter, nerves are already running low. How did it get so sticky anyway?  
\---  
_Seen by [10] Comments [13]_

**Comments**  
> 10:43 AM – _mazikeen.of.the.lilim_  
For real… whoever did this better start cleaning up. I cannot keep up with Lucifer’s nonsense without caffeine.

> 10:49 AM – _mazikeen.of.the.lilim_  
Scratch that. I cannot keep up with Lucifer’s nonsense in general…

> 10:50 AM – _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
Don’t you dare speaking to me like this.  
What the bloody hell is that even supposed to mean? Lucifer’s nonsense?

> 10:51 AM – _mazikeen.of.the.lilim_  
Look who is on edge this morning. Someone’s pissed off. What happened? Did Decker blame you for the coffee incident?

> 10:50 AM - _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
Watch your tone, Mazikeen!

> 10:51 AM – _mazikeen.of.the.lilim_  
Oh, I get it! She made you sleep on the couch!

> >> 10:51 AM – _det.decker_  
>  MAZE!!

> 10:53 AM – _mazikeen.of.the.lilim_  
Ahaha, how pathetic…

> >> 10:54 AM – _mazikeen.of.the.lilim_  
>  Btw, where the [removed] is he even? I swear I saw him earlier.
> 
> >> 10:54 AM – _det.decker_  
>  He just left my desk. He seemed to be in a rush.

> 10:53 AM – _L.opez_  
Jeez, guys… I’m only in the office for 5min and you’re already spamming my timeline. 

> >> 10:55 AM – _L.opez_  
>  Hey, Lucifer just walked by. Why does he look like he’s gonna murder someone?
> 
> > 10:56 AM - _mazikeen.of.the.lilim_  
>  Oh shit, I need to go! Tell Linda I cannot make it for lunch.

* * *

**LAPD Central Bureau Notification Board  
11/06/2017 - 12:56 PM**

>> **RE: The great coffee incident**  
>> **posted by** office management

Dear colleagues,

after some worrisome developments between Ms. Smith and Mr. Morningstar, office management decided to replace the abused coffee pot immediately. We should receive a new fully automatic coffee machine this very afternoon. As a bonus, we also ordered a new fast cooking kettle for the tea lovers amongst you.

A friendly reminder: in future please report accidents immediately to the office management and do not let malevolence fester. We are one team on one journey.

\---  
_Seen by [25] Comments [8]_

**Comments**  
> 1:10 PM – _det.espinoza_  
Man, is it true that Maze took the rest of the week off? What happened this morning?

> >> 1:14 PM – _L.opez_  
>  Oh, right! You weren’t here this morning. You surely know that the precinct only fully operates after reaching a certain caffeine level. As it appears you should not tease Lucifer before he had his first coffee. Not that Maze cares about that...  
>  So, first thing Lucifer walked up to the evidence room – where Maze was hiding in. And I swear to my dead Abuela that the darkness followed him. I mean, it was morning, right? But it seemed like the lights dimmed a few shades wherever he walked [Michael Myers emoji]
> 
> >> 1:14 PM – _det.espinoza_  
>  You’re kidding, right?
> 
> >> 1:15 PM – _L.opez_  
>  No! And you could see the fear in Maze’s eyes. THE Maze! Never thought I would see her scared…
> 
> >> 1:16 PM – _det.espinoza_  
>  What happened next?
> 
> >> 1:18 PM – _L.opez_  
>  You see, no one really knows O_O He follows here into the evidence room and suddenly there was a reddish light shining through the gap of the door, it lasted around 2 minutes. *dramatic pause* Then puff - silence and no more light. Lucifer was the only one coming back through the door. No Maze. I went looking inside but couldn't find here anywhere...  
>  The craziest thing tho? The security cameras inside the evidence room stopped working. For exactly 1:34min…
> 
> >> 1:19 PM – _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
>  Ms. Lopez, I can assure you, no demons were harmed in the process. Well, no more than she likes anyway… [devil emoji]
> 
> >> 1:20 PM – _det.espinoza_  
>  Dude, it’s too early to deal with your craziness.

* * *

**LAPD Central Bureau Notification Board  
11/06/2017 - 3:33 PM**

>> **RE: SoCal Tactical Camp 2017 – organizational changes**  
>> **posted by** _off.miller_

Dear colleagues,

due to unexpected changes Cpl. Hutchins cannot attend SoCal Tactical Camp. 

Since five attendees is the required minimum to participate and both Det. Sullivan as well as Sgt. Brooks are on vacation, we will send Ms. Lopez as replacement to the training.  
Accommodations are booked now, except for Mr. Morningstar who wants to take care of this for himself. Please come by my desk to collect tickets and further reading material.

Make the precinct proud,  
Off. Jasper Miller

\---  
_Seen by [25] Comments [13]_

**Comments**  
> 4:10 PM – _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
Just to be precise, I will provide for accommodations for Detective Decker and myself. Everyone else that wants to escape the Hell-forged nightmare that is a prolonged stay in a 3-star hostel, is very welcome to join us. Of course in a separate room. 

> 4:11 PM - _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
Unless the Detective is up for a threesome?

> 4:11 PM – _det.decker_  
No

> 4:12 PM – _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
No? 

> 4:13 PM – _det.decker_  
I swear by God, no…

> 4:14 PM – _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
Way to take the joy out of a threesome, Detective…

> 4:16 PM – _Cain_  
I am not opposed to share a room with you and Chloe.

> 4:17 PM – _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
What? How? …

> 4:17 PM – _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
This should not be possible…Who are you?

> 4:18 PM – _Cain_  
You know very well who I am, Lucifer.

> 4:19 PM – _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
You are dead! And I have no problem making sure that it stays that way!

> 4:20 PM – _det.decker_  
It’s me Lucifer. I was just screwing with you with a fake account. You should have seen your face [laughing emoji]

> >> 4:23 PM – _Lucifer.Morningstar_  
>  It seems Detective Decker wants to take the public transport to the event…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next chapter will be the SoCal Tactical Camp. Let's see if the guys can compete against the other precincts :D

**Author's Note:**

> I like to dedicate this work to Sandra who I hopefully paint a small smile on her face. If not - well, actually I haven't thought so far...


End file.
